I'm Baaaaaaaack!

Yep, it's me again.  I didn't die or drop off the face of the earth.  I fell out of love (!) with running. Running and I broke up.  I cheated on running with yoga and tried not to look back.  Yoga welcomed me, made me stop and BREATHE.  It made me remember to focus on my body instead of the outside world around me. "Aaaah. There now, isn't that nice?" it said.

"Yes!" my brain screamed,  "Yes, it's so very nice!  It's air conditioned in here, I don't even have to wear shoes, my mat is pink and the instructor speaks so lovingly to me!"

But always, my old running shoes would whisper to me when I opened my closet door: "you know you want me. You know you want to feel the burn of your legs and your lungs with me."

I looked at my shoes and was like:

Running waited for me patiently, lovingly, longing to abuse me again someday.  I reminded myself how we fought, running and I!  Still the siren song of the road called me, and I angrily and stubbornly ignored it, preferring a lovely, calming relationship with an exercise regimen that in no way punished me and made me hate it on a daily basis.  

Summer finally arrived...the time of year when I am off work and thinking about how awesome it would be if I got in shape.  I'll walk back into work as the hottest 43-year-old in the building.  Weeks went by and I was NOT getting my yoga done.  Life took over: baseball, basketball tournaments, medical issues...the excuses piled up.  My clothes started to fit tighter. At scout camp this year, I was a little winded walking up those big hills.  Several times I looked in the mirror and told myself to put those shoes on and go. Once again I was like:

Then today I looked at the overcast 85 degree sky, let out a great big heavy sigh and strapped on those shoes.  I downloaded a couple of apps to keep me company, strapped on my armband and did it.  I DID IT!!!  I shut up that demon voice that told me to run...by RUNNING. And guess what?  I did love it!  I mean, I hated it, of course....but I LOVED IT! 

My time sucked, I barely ran at all and I was self-conscious about the fact that my old shorts are too tight, but I DID IT!  I didn't worry about time (I forgot my watch!), so I ran as much and when I wanted to, only pushing myself to make it to the next corner or whatever.  I can't say I will do this regularly (it's hot outside, you know!), but I can say that I truly enjoyed it...especially when it was OVER.

Running, you old awful thing, I am back.  I hate you, but you know I can't stay away.